


negotiations

by sinningpumpkin



Series: negotiate [3]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Arguing, Cunnilingus, Developing Relationship, First Dates, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sex Work, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:21:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26719717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinningpumpkin/pseuds/sinningpumpkin
Summary: Felix hates him. Felix hates him because he’s annoyingly pretty, sticks in the back of his head and makes fucking Sylvain almost boring. Felix hates him because he’s respectful and well aware of their boundaries and so, so stupid. How many gifts are they going to have to buy him before he gets it? More than anything, though, Felix hates Dimitri because the alternative is much, much scarier.~Or Felix, Sylvain, and Dimitri negotiate their relationship.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Series: negotiate [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1820464
Comments: 22
Kudos: 126





	negotiations

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much to nat for helping me with this fic!! check them out on twitter @nishtabel!
> 
> felix is trans and his junk is referred to with amab phrases.

Things get once they’re all in a group chat. Felix didn’t even have Dimitri’s number until Sylvain made it. Sylvain and Dimitri text back and forth constantly, every single day. It doesn’t take long for Felix to join as well, popping reactions onto their texts while watching them be idiots. It’s awful. Terrible. Dimitri consumes his mind enough already, and now even the most mundane of days are invaded by him as well.

They mostly text at night. After Dimitri’s home from… whatever he does for work and they’ve settled down for bed. Usually, Felix and Sylvain are curled around each other, faces illuminated by their phones as they text Dimitri instead of talking to each other. It’s been two weeks since Felix confessed to his boyfriend and two days since their last scene with Dimitri. The time that Felix can go between seeing Dimitri is getting shorter and shorter. Even two days without him is now agony. 

Felix hates him. Felix hates him because he’s annoyingly pretty, sticks in the back of his head and makes fucking Sylvain almost boring. Felix hates him because he’s respectful and well aware of their boundaries and so, so stupid. How many gifts are they going to have to buy him before he gets it? More than anything, though, Felix hates Dimitri because the alternative is much, much scarier.

He drops his phone and rolls onto his back, bowing out of the conversation about vibrators versus anal beads that Sylvain is probably making Dimitri blush over. When Felix closes his eyes, he can imagine it. The flush over Dimitri’s cheeks and how it goes from a soft rose to a heady scarlet the more he gets teased. 

Sylvain rolls into his side and noses at his cheek. “You’re thinking a lot over here.”

Felix could admit that he misses Dimitri. That he wants to really confess. That he’s terrified of how that might go. That he needs Sylvain’s help in making a plan because he’s certain he can’t navigate these feelings on his own.

He does none of those things. Instead, he rolls on top of Sylvain and grabs him by the hair. His boyfriend gasps, honeyed eyes glittering as Felix grins and hooks his fingers into the top of his sweats. “Okay, fuck, yeah--” His voice breaks off when Felix pulls on his hair and straddles his thigh as he tugs Sylvain’s cock out. He’s already half hard and Felix tries not to think of the cause as he leans in for a biting kiss.

Sylvain is perfect. He gasps into his mouth and arches under his hand. When Felix pulls on his hair he whines and demands for what he wants with sharp nips of his teeth at Felix’s bottom lip. He pulls back to spit in his palm and make the handjob a little slicker. Sylvain starts dripping for him, nails digging into the back of his shirt and desperate little moans spilling out of him. He’s beautiful, he’s perfect, he’s everything that Felix has ever wanted.

And still, something is missing.

“Let me touch you.” It’s a question and a demand all in one. Felix nods and Sylvain’s hand dips into his pants, fingertips slipping over his dick. His hand tightens around Sylvain’s cock, hips jumping with excitement. Sylvain smiles up at him, still as insufferable as he was when they were younger. 

“Dimitri wants to touch you so bad,” he says.

Pleasure lights Felix up just at the thought, making him clumsy. A defensive annoyance still swells up in him. “Why are you talking about him?” he bites out, thumbing at the head of Sylvain’s cock as he grinds against his fingers. 

“Don’t pretend,” Sylvain says. Felix clamps his jaw shut, molars grinding together as he jerks Sylvain’s cock how he likes it. “He just wants to make you feel good…” Sylvain trails off and Felix’s eyes flick to his face. He’s biting his bottom lip, eyes squeezed shut and probably imagining it. Sticky hot desire curls through Felix at the thought, and irritation is quickly replaced with something much better.

Felix licks his lips and twists his hand around the head of Sylvain’s cock. “I want him to,” he whispers. It’s far from being a secret, but he’s never been able to say it outloud, never quite managed to admit that he’d allow someone else other than Sylvain to touch him. Sylvain tweaks his dick and moans, shifting his hand until he can rub it in tight little circles that has Felix lightheaded. “I want him,” he groans. Sylvain nods, shifting his hips up into Felix’s grip as he pants wetly.

“Me too, baby, me too.”

They crash together in another messy kiss, biting and licking until they shudder against each other and finally cum. Sylvain pulls his hand out of Felix’s pants as he leans back. While Felix smears his sticky fingers on Sylvain’s belly, he licks Felix’s cum off his hand. “You’re nasty,” he mutters. Sylvain only grins at him as he yawns and slumps to the side.

Sylvain curls around him as he settles down into sleep, still smelling like sex. “It’s gonna be okay, Fe.” It’s what Sylvain has told him every night for the past two weeks. And it’s the only thing that lets Felix sleep. 

~

“It’s really not the end of the world,” Annette says. In one hand she’s typing away on her phone, probably humiliating some old man for money, and holding a massive iced coffee with the other. Felix is tempted to smack her phone out of her hand, but she turns it off and flips it upside down on the table. She looks at Felix closely as she takes another long sip of her latte.

He takes a bite of his croissant in order to avoid her question. It’s a nice day, speckled sunlight falling through the leaves and across the table where they’ve been snacking on brunch for almost an hour. “Just talk to him.” She sets her coffee down and runs a thumb around the edge of her lip, catching smeared lipstick. “Or if you can’t do that, make Sylvain do it.”

Felix wipes his hands off and shakes his head. “It’s more… it’s not that simple.” His best friend gives him a long, withering look and shoves a shortbread cookie into her mouth. “He’s our main income right now. We see him almost three times a week and if something goes wrong we’d be fucked.”

Annette finally softens then and reaches across the table to catch his hand. She runs her thumb over his knuckles as he sighs. “Don’t worry about that.” He opens his mouth to argue and her hand tightens around his. “Don’t even try me Fraldarius, or it’ll get ugly,” she says. He nods slowly, even while having no intention to ever borrow her money. After both of them clawed their way through high school and into success, he’d never ask something like that of her. She pats his hand and grabs her coffee again. “So, besides money,” she pauses to give him a pointed look, “what’s the worst thing that could happen?”

They play this game often, trying to cut each other’s anxious spirals down to size. Felix takes another bite of his pastry before they start. “Well, he could break up with us. I could lose the best sub I’ve ever had and be heartbroken over someone I never even--”

“You’ll be able to get better subs in the future. Heartbreak doesn’t last forever, next.” Her phone is buzzing on the table, but she ignores it as Felix picks another terrible option.

“If he says yes, then I have to date two people. I’ve barely managed with Sylvain, how the fuck am I gonna be able to do more? And then, I’ll fuck it up and Dimitri will leave--Jesus Christ what if that makes Sylvain leave too?” He puts his face in his hands. 

Annette mulls this one over a little longer. “Sylvain loves you, more than anything in the world and you’ve done a lot more for him than you realize.” Felix combs his fingers through his hair and looks up at her. She’s smiling a little, like she’s fond of his budding mental breakdown. “And I’ve never known you to be someone who can’t do something after you’ve set your mind to it.” His phone is starting to buzz now too, probably Sylvain saying he misses him. “Felix.” She leans into him. “If you want him, get him.”

It’s a terrible idea. But when Annette grins at him like that, eyes bright and mischievous, Felix knows that he’ll end up doing it anyway.

~

Their next scene with Dimitri is in two days and Felix knows that he won’t be doing a good job if he lets it happen as planned. Sylvain watches him pace back and forth in their bedroom for nearly an hour as he works up the nerve to call Dimitri. Of course, his boyfriend had offered to do it, but Felix knew it was something for him to do alone. “Okay, okay,” he says to himself, ignoring Sylvain’s stupid smile as he finally hits the call button and lifts the phone to his ear.

Dimitri picks up on the first ring. “Hello?” 

“We need to cancel our scene this week,” Felix blurts out. Dimitri breathes on the other end of the line and Felix resists the urge to smack himself--or Sylvain--in the face. “That’s not--” He sighs and starts pacing again. “Can you come over tonight instead? To our apartment. And also not for a scene.”

Dimitri’s quiet for a moment. “I’m not sure I understand.”

Of course he doesn’t, Felix is butchering this so terribly he’s not sure how anyone could understand. He pinches the bridge of his nose and finally says what he means. “We need to talk. You, me and Sylvain. Would you be comfortable coming over tonight to do that?” He turns back toward Sylvain who gives him a thumbs up. Felix can’t tell if he’s making fun of him or not.

Felix can hear things rustling on the other end and the gentle rhythm of Dimitri’s breathing. For a single moment, Felix’s worry can melt away and only be replaced with yearning: A desperation to have Dimitri at his side by any means. “Okay. Text me the address.”

Felix exhales. “Thank you, Dimitri.” He hangs up and tosses his phone onto the couch. Sylvain opens his arms and Felix collapses into him, squeezing his knees around Sylvain’s hips as he takes a deep breath. Felix grabs his phone and texts Dimitri their address, but he and Sylvain don’t detangle until there’s a knock at their door a while later.

Sylvain gets it for him while Felix curls up on the end of the couch. He knows he should be more welcoming, or at least less angry looking, but he can’t manage to smooth the pinched look on his face. He watches as Sylvain touches Dimitri’s shoulder, smiling and asking him how his day has been, as he guides him into the living room. He’s so at ease, so charming and perfect and Felix loves him just as much as he envies him. 

“Hi, Felix,” Dimitri says. He’s dressed in soft, comfortable clothing and slouches to try and make himself look smaller. It doesn’t really work, but it seems like a habit he’s found difficult to break. Even with his hulking stature and expensive clothing, he fits in with their apartment. With them.

“Hey,” he mumbles, lifting his thumb to his mouth to chew on the nail. His worst nervous habit. Dimitri sits in the armchair on the other side of the room while Sylvain sits on the couch. He’s the only one who looks even remotely at ease, while Felix rips at his nails and Dimitri starts twisting the tips of his hair.

They sit in a prickly silence for a small eternity before Sylvain takes a long breath and slides his hand through his hair. “Well, Dimitri, Felix and I have been talking…” He’s making it sound like some sort of business proposal and Felix wants to punch him. “And we were hoping to get to know you.” Dimitri stares at him uncomprehendingly.

Felix cuts in before Sylvain can continue to make this sound like a business deal. “We don’t want you to be a client anymore. Instead we’d like to try just being with you,” he says. Halfway through, Dimitri’s attention pivots to him and Felix starts picking at their upholstery, unable to look Dimitri in the face.

Another, thicker sort of silence takes over and Felix clenches his hands into fists. Sylvain starts saying something, only for Dimitri to cut him off. “No.” Felix’s blood turns to ice and his belly turns. “No, that’s not a good idea.”

Felix’s eyes snap to him, rage burning out his sadness. “What the fuck does that mean?”

“Felix--” Sylvain turns to him with wide eyes, one hand out like he’s going to try and stop him.

“No, no. What the hell are you trying to say, huh?” Felix shoots to his feet and stalks across the room. He stands over Dimitri, eyes fiery and fists clenched at his sides. Dimitri shrinks under the attention, folding in on himself even more, but Felix can’t find it within himself to feel guilty.

He shakes his head and stands slowly. On instinct, Felix takes a half-step away, forced out of Dimitri’s space with his size alone. The movement seems to deflate Dimitri even more, like Felix just proved a point he had no intention of making. His hair hangs in front of his face as he turns away from Felix. “Just… trust me. We shouldn’t.” And then he’s gone. Felix watches him turn on his heel, step into his shoes and pull his jacket on. He watches Dimitri close the door. That should have been the moment their apartment felt hollow, but Dimitri was gone long before he stepped outside. Felix crumples into the chair Dimitri was just sitting in, absorbing his warmth and his smell. 

“What the fuck was that?” Felix mumbles to himself.

“Jesus Christ,” Sylvain says. “What the fuck were you thinking?” Tears scratch at the back of his eyes and Felix stands. Sylvain meets him. They’re mirrored images of each other, arms crossed and fists clenched, Sylvain’s stupid mouth running while Felix’s stays clenched closed. “You… God, you’re impossible sometimes, you know that?” Sylvain spits.

It hits Felix like a punch to the gut. Sylvain’s eyes widen, like he’s shocked that those words came out of his mouth. “Fuck you,” Felix hisses in response. It only throws fuel on the fire, Sylvain’s jaw clenching as he shakes his head. “Sleep on the fucking couch tonight,” he says and storms down the hallway into their bedroom.

~

The anger doesn’t last long. It rarely does. Felix only ever held a grudge against Sylvain in sophomore year. It had been bad enough before he slipped up and used an old, feminine nickname for Felix. He didn’t talk to Sylvain for three weeks, got into five fights, and nearly got expelled. Sylvain had gotten caught up in the fifth one, saved Felix from getting a broken nose and still promised to make it up to him. It was the first time he’d seen Sylvain truly, sincerely sorry. And it might’ve been the moment that Felix started to fall in love with him. 

This superficial anger is gone in moments once he’s wrapped up in their blankets. Without the fire present, all Felix knows is the sharp, intense sting of rejection. He stares at the clock on his bedside table, watching the minutes tick by as he plays that conversation over and over and over. In an hour, he finds each of his own faults. In two, he finds new things to blame Sylvain for and is briefly enraged again. Then he thinks of Dimitri’s hidden face, his certainty that it wouldn’t be a good idea, and a new emotion comes to the surface. This one is foreign, too difficult to name.

Felix tosses and turns in bed. He thinks about other fights he and Sylvain have had. He cries a little bit about what Sylvain said to him and thinks about going out into the living room to see him. They both need the space, he knows that. Still, he’s lonely.

He gets maybe an hour of sleep and finally decides to get out of bed at six in the morning. He rubs at the knots in his neck and shoulders as he walks out into the living room. Sylvain isn’t laying on the couch. From the kitchen, Felix can hear their coffee maker going. He steps into the kitchen, barely moving past the doorway as he surveys his boyfriend. Sylvain looks just about as sleepless as him, hair rumpled and clothes wrinkled with the same dark circles around his eyes.

Sylvain lifts his gaze toward him, a tired sort of smile on his face. Felix stands still, wanting to go to him more than anything, but unsure if he’s allowed yet. This is the worst part of every fight. Not the stewing or the outburst or the ruminating, but the moment before the apology where the discomfort mounts and Felix’s fear of abandonment tries to kick him to his knees. 

Sylvain straightens up and lets his arms hang at his sides, palms turned toward Felix. It isn’t quite an invitation, but he isn’t crossing his arms, either. “I’m really sorry, Felix.” The words are almost enough to make him start crying. “I’m sorry for what I said. I was angry and scared and unfair to you.” 

Sylvain surely has more to say, but Felix doesn’t wait for it. He crosses the kitchen and flings himself into Sylvain’s arms and shoves his face against his sternum. Sylvain’s arms go around him without hesitation and they squeeze each other tightly, pulling each other back together.

Felix feels the vibrations of Sylvain’s next words against his cheeks. “You aren’t impossible. You’re one of the only people in this world I feel like I really understand. And I…” He pauses and kisses the top of Felix’s head. “I wanted to say something mean, so I did,” Sylvain admits. It’s an impulse that both of them know well. Felix takes a long breath and Sylvain pets down his spine. “I should have taken better care of you last night,” he murmurs finally. Felix’s chest aches and he knots his fingers in the back of Sylvain’s shirt, nodding sharply to accept his apology.

He has his own things to apologize for, but his thoughts are scrambled by exhaustion. “Coffee first?”

Sylvain laughs and pulls back to get their favorite mugs. “Good idea.” He pours them both big cups and adds the right amount of cream and sugar--lots for Sylvain, only a bit for Felix--while Felix stays glued to his side. They go into the living room with their steaming mugs and curl up on the couch together.

Once Felix is half way through his cup, he’s actually able to get his exhausted brain in order. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t’ve gotten so mad… it hurt and I didn’t know what else to do.” Sylvain watches him carefully as they sip their coffee. “I love you a lot. And I… fuck, I thought things were going to go better. When they didn’t I just didn’t know what to do.” 

Sylvain nods and rubs his thigh. Felix knows that everything is forgiven.

They finish their coffee in silence as the sun rises. Felix sets his empty mug aside and leans into Sylvian’s side. He wraps an arm around him, stroking his waist and hip. “Well… what now?” Sylvain asks.

Felix snorts and rubs a hand over his face. “I thought you’d have an idea by now.”

“I mean. We could try and have a redo? With him.”

Felix traces a pattern over the back of Sylvain’s hand. “He seemed like he had already decided. Why… what was he even trying to tell us?” Felix groans. “I’m so terrible at this.”

Sylvain squeezes him. “I don’t know. I don’t know.”

Felix wants to try again. He wants to see Dimitri and touch Dimitri and try to understand what he meant, but they all need a break. And he knows that even after that break, they might not see each other again.

~

Knowing that he’s going to miss Dimitri and actually missing Dimitri are two vastly different things. He thought that knowing it would hurt would prepare him. It doesn’t. He spends the days immediately after their argument in a mopey haze, only barely comforted by Sylvain bringing him his favorite foods and letting him pick the movies. Felix knows that Sylvain is hurting in the same way and the guilt of not being able to help him stings.

He feels immovable in a well of guilt and shame and disgust for nearly a week. Then, they have to pay rent. The obvious solution is to film something, but since their time has been so occupied with Dimitri, their engagement has dropped off. There’s no guarantee that they’ll be able to cover rent even if they do make new content. Mounting stress only worsens the situation, until fucking is the last thing on Felix’s mind and all he wants is the security of having Dimitri. 

Sylvain holds him at night while he sleeps fitfully. They share cups of coffee in the morning and try to brainstorm what to do. Felix thinks about Annette’s offer and bile stings the back of his throat. It’s even worse than the idea of asking for money from their devoted followers. Still, they put out feelers online, looking for donations and requests. Familiar usernames help a lot, donating a few bucks here and there and offering them ideas for videos.

Reluctantly, they start to plan, leaning on each other as the pressure of this job hits difficulties they haven’t known in a long time. Even without asking Annette for money, the large sum donated to them anonymously has her name written all over it. Felix is ashamed of how grateful he is. The day before he and Sylvain are set to film, she invites him out for shopping. Even without any money to spare, he figures he owes her a few hours.

She picks him up in her shiny new car, looking like some movie star with a leather jacket over a satiny dress and silver aviators. Felix is dull in comparison, but she makes him feel sparkly, blasting her upbeat pop music as they roll into the most expensive mall in the city. “Let's go blow my most recent paycheck!” she shouts and for the first time in a week, Felix smiles.

~

The sun is setting by the time they return to her car. Both of their arms are loaded with bags from luxury stores, most of them for Annette. Felix hadn’t spent any money, but any time he took a little too long looking at something, Annette batted her eyelashes until he relented and let her buy it for him. They ended up having dinner at some fancy restaurant, too. Annette didn’t seem to notice--or maybe she just didn’t care--the rude looks sent her way by snooty patrons. Felix stopped caring about them after a while, too, and just enjoyed the meal of mind-bogglingly expensive dishes.

Annette throws her bags into the tiny back seat and dances into the front. Felix follows her lead and grabs his phone out of the cupholder. He’d realized about half way through their trip that he’d accidentally left it in there. He had touched his back pocket with the intention of pulling out his phone and checking if Dimitri had texted him, only to find it empty. Then Annette had grabbed him by the wrist and dragged him into the Louis Vuitton store, and he’d forgotten all about it.

His heart jumps as he turns it on, the same way it does every time he thinks about maybe talking to Dimitri again. Then, he nearly throws up all over Annette’s beautiful leather interior when he realizes he  _ did _ get a text from Dimitri. Seven of them, actually, plus twenty texts from Sylvain and three voicemails. He doesn’t bother to check his inbox, or even read any of Dimitri’s messages, he turns down Annette’s music and calls Sylvain as she starts to drive.

“What the fuck is going on?” He slides a hand over his eyes as he says it.

On the other end, Sylvain gives a hysterical, disbelieving laugh. “Did you read any of the messages?”

“No. What’s happening?”

Sylvain lets out a long, strained breath. “He still wants us to be his doms.” Everything in the world comes to a screeching halt and for a moment, Felix thinks they’ve been in an.

Sylvain is still talking, but Felix can’t understand a thing he’s saying. “Slow down,” he snaps. “Sorry,” he says immediately after. “I can’t understand you. You’re going too fast.”

They both take deep breaths and then Sylvain starts again. “He said in the groupchat that he wants us again. Fe, he wants to do a scene tonight.” From the first mention of them seeing Dimitri again, Felix knew that they were on a track that wouldn’t be changed. “I think he outlined it in his texts to you,” Sylvain breathes. He’s excited, Felix can hear it in his barely there words. Probably a little scared too.

Felix pulls the phone away from his face and opens the texts that Dimitri sent him.

[Hello. I want to do another scene with you and Sylvain.]

He expected a blubbering, shitty apology. There isn’t one to be found. Worry and desire balloon in his chest in tandem as he reads through the rest of Dimitri’s requests. He lifts the phone back to his ear. “Syl, we have to.”

His boyfriend sighs on the other end of the line. There are so many things that he could be referring to. Money, mainly, but also simple obligations. The promises that they’ve silently made to Dimitri. Most importantly, the need they have for him. 

“Yeah, I know,” Sylvain says.

“I love you. See you soon.”

After hanging up, Felix fills Annette in on the drive back to his apartment, gives her a kiss on the cheek, grabs his bags and sprints up to their apartment. Sylvain meets him at the door and pulls him into a hug, crushing his designer purchases between them. He pulls Felix inside and kicks the door shut, refusing to let go of him until they’re seated on the couch. The bags end up scattered around their livingroom and Felix curls around Sylvain, breathing him in until he can manage to make himself speak. “Tonight?”

Sylvain nods. Felix lets out a long breath. “We can’t… He wants impact play, bondage, forniphilia. I can’t do that to him.” He would’ve been able to--would’ve  _ liked _ it--only a few weeks ago. But, that seems like a world away now. Sylvain nods and squeezes Felix impossibly tighter.

“I told him to come over here. I didn’t want to leave,” Sylvain whispers. Felix pets between his shoulder blades. He doesn’t mention the filming equipment set up in their bedroom, or how Sylvain’s hands shake whenever they aren’t pressed against him. “He should be here in a half hour.”

In this moment, Felix knows he has to be steady. The blanket of domination falls over him easily. He takes control for Sylvain, to steady him and calm him as the stress mounts. It’s an easy responsibility to take on. “I’ll talk to him when he gets here about the scene. Don’t worry about it.” He leans back and cups Sylvain’s face, tilting his head until they can look each other in the eyes. “I’m going to get us some water. Do you want to have a full meal or something small?” He sweeps his thumbs under Sylvain’s eyes and down the sides of his nose while he talks, gentling the anxiety out of him until he’s half-melted.

“Maybe… just a shake?”

Felix doesn’t let his disapproval show on his face, not after letting Sylvain choose. Some calories are better than nothing, anyway. “Alright. While I get that for us, you go clean up the bedroom, okay? Put everything away except for a bottle of lube.” He climbs off Sylvain’s lap after he nods.

He pours them both glasses of water, Sylvain’s with extra ice and shakes up one of their protein mixes for him. He slices himself an apple and eats a piece of turkey. It all tastes like sand, but it’ll at least tide them over for the scene. Once Sylvain has finished in the bedroom, he comes into the kitchen and drinks both his water and the shake. Felix lays the praise on thick for him, giving in to his pleas for kisses until Sylvain is glassy-eyed and ready for their night.

It helps mute Felix’s anxiety, as well. He takes on both of their stress and pushes it away. When Dimitri knocks on their front door, that almost comes crashing down. Sylvain’s eyes widen, shoulders rising up toward his ears. Felix smooths the tension out of his muscles and kisses his temple. “Go to the bedroom and wait for us. I’ll need to talk to him.” Dimitri knocks again and Sylvain’s eyes dart to the door, before disappearing back to their bedroom.

Felix rolls his shoulders back, squares his jaw and opens the door. His posturing is meaningless. Dimitri appears broken on Felix’s stoop. He’s wearing a stained shirt and dirty jeans. He doesn’t smell, but his hair has certainly seen better days. Felix gapes at him. He expected a spiteful man, an angry man, a demanding man who needed a service and couldn’t find it anywhere else. Instead, he finds someone threadbare and unable to look him in the face. “Come in,” Felix says.

Dimitri shuffles through the door and Felix closes it behind him. Dimitri doesn’t turn to face him, just allows Felix to silently survey all the ways in which he’s fallen apart. “Look at me.” He still listens to Felix, stringy, dirty hair shifting to expose the dark circles around his eyes and the tight set of his jaw. Felix tries not to let it shock him, tries to be steady, professional--the thing that Sylvain and Dimitri both need. Somewhere, his heart continues to ache for Dimitri, and the urge to hold him must shine in his eyes. “We can’t give you what you requested tonight.”

“But--”

Felix holds up a hand and Dimitri jerks like he’s been slapped. “I don’t feel comfortable being that rough with you. Neither does Sylvain.” Dimitri slumps like a puppet with its strings cut. “You’re welcome to be here tonight. You’re welcome to do a scene with us tonight. But I’m uncomfortable with impact play and that kind of dehumanization for now.” Dimitri’s face pinches and he looks away from Felix. He can tell that Dimitri is disappointed, maybe a little angry, too. Felix resists the urge to touch him. “If you’d like to stay, I’ll have you shower and join Sylvain and I in bed.”

After a long beat of uncomfortable silence, in which Felix realizes he’s blocking the front door, Dimitri nods. Felix lets out a long breath and moves past him. “Come along.” Dimitri moves silently, despite his hulking stature, into their tiny bathroom. Felix gives him a clean towel and turns on their finicky shower for him. “Once you’re dried off, our bedroom is the door on the left. Take your time and join us once you’re done.” He leaves without touching Dimitri and goes to sit with Sylvain. 

Sylvain leans into his side, warm and soft. “Is he good?”

Felix bites his lip and shakes his head. “I think he’ll spend the night with us, though.”

Sylvain curls an arm around his middle. “Good enough, then.”

Twenty minutes later, the shower shuts off. A small eternity stretches on, until Dimitri comes into their bedroom, the tips of his hair dripping and a towel wound around his waist. Sylvain straightens against Felix’s side, his entire body surging toward Dimitri before folding back against the mattress. Dimitri operates with the same poorly leashed desire, neither of them quite knowing whether it's okay to touch, to act as if this moment is normal. Felix stands and takes the decision from both of them.

“On the bed, Dima.” He curls his hand around Sylvain’s elbow as he speaks, lifting him onto his feet to give Dimitri the free space to move. “And lose the towel.” After a moment's hesitation, he does as he’s told. Felix’s eyes widen as the fabric drops away to reveal purpling bruises. Marks that don’t belong to them, scattered all over Dimitri’s lower half. Sylvain reaches out and grips his fingers, both of them silent as Dimitri settles himself on the bed. He’s achingly beautiful, even with his hollowed eyes and sunken features.

Felix takes a long, steady breath. “Sylvain, undress and stretch yourself.” He gives him another squeeze, before letting go of his hand and clambering onto the bed. He doesn’t yet undress himself. Instead, he sits beside Dimitri’s head and guides him gently so he may watch Sylvain. Once naked, Sylvain climbs onto the bed with them and settles between Dimitri’s thighs. Felix hands him the lube. “Sit however you’re comfortable.” Felix’s knees butt up against Dimitri’s ribcage, a steady, non-demanding sort of touch. “Don’t rush,” Felix adds, when he sees Sylvain slick up three fingers at once. He frowns, but still eases himself open with one finger.

His attention then pivots to Dimitri. Where his body is usually eager for them, now his skin is pale and his cock lays soft against his thigh. He can’t quite meet Felix’s gaze, face pinched with something Felix only knows from seeing on himself. Shame.

Even after all this, Felix trusts him. He trusts Dimitri to tell him no, to ask for what he needs, and he knows that Dimitri feels the same. It’s the only way that Felix feels comfortable slipping his fingers into Dimitri’s hair. It’s the only reason that Dimitri is happy to close his eyes and relax into the touch. It’s the only way that Felix is able to pet down his sternum and over his belly, and Dimitri’s cock jumps and fills in response to him.

Felix’s thumb slips against his temple, catching a few stray beads of water. Felix doesn’t ask before kissing him. He should: it’s the professional, careful thing to do. But he’s afraid of the answer, scared that Dimitri might lie. Dimitri surges into the touch, gasping and licking between his lips, honest and earnest without the weight of words. Felix sucks on his tongue and scratches through his pubes, aching with desire. Sylvain moans for them too, the sound of his fingers inside himself wet and erotic. Felix lets the kiss stretch long, nipping at Dimitri’s bottom lip to make him whine before he pulls back. 

Dimitri is panting, eyes watery and big where they’re pointed up at Felix. He smiles, lips tingling, before looking down the length of his body. He’s thickened up now, cock ruddy and pretty where it juts up from his pubes. Sylvain seems to think the same, working his fingers steadily inside himself as he stares at it. “You’ll be good for me, won’t you?” Both of his boys whine in unison and something inside of Felix’s chest starts to glow. 

He grabs the lube and squirts some into his palm. He takes a moment to warm it before he curls his fingers around the base of Dimitri’s cock. He jerks up into it immediately, fingers knotting in the sheets as he gasps. Felix spreads the lube over his cock, not even really stroking him off. Dimitri whines for it like it’s the hottest thing he’s ever experienced, body coiling taut with pleasure. “There’s a good boy. You’re gonna stay nice and still while Sylvain rides you, okay?” Dimitri nods and Felix lets go of his cock. “He’s gonna use you just like you want.” His hands are wandering again, wiping lube off on Dimitri’s bruised thigh while tickling the other over his belly and chest.

“Can I?” Sylvain breathes. Felix nods and watches as he straddles Dimitri’s slim hips. One of his hands finds its way to Sylvain’s thigh, gripping him tightly and keeping him steady as he guides Dimitri’s cock back toward his stretched hole. “Fuck,” Sylvain murmurs as he works the head inside of him. It’s been a while since he took something as big as Dimitri, evident in how his face goes as red as his hair and his thighs tremble.

“Good boy,” Felix purrs, petting over Sylvain’s ass and down the back of his thigh. He jolts with the praise, biting his bottom lip as he sinks down further on Dimitri’s cock. It’s never been difficult for Felix to manage both of them, not when his boys are so similar in what they need. “Does your toy feel good, baby?” Felix says, shooting Dimitri a rude little smile.

Sylvain shudders. “Yeah, yeah--fuck,” he moans. Felix’s eyes widen as Sylvain drops all the way down into Dimitri’s lap. He scratches at Dimitri’s belly, throwing his head back as his cock smears wetness against his navel. All the while, Dimitri is perfectly still, allowing himself to be used for Sylvain’s pleasure, at Felix’s command. His own body pulses with pleasure at the thought.

He sweeps Sylvain’s hair off his sweaty forehead and kisses his temple as he shakes. “Stay just like that for me. I’ll tell you when you can move.” Sylvain turns and slots their mouths together by way of agreement. Felix indulges him until the desperate coil of his body has relaxed.

With both of his boys settled, Felix slips off the mattress to start stripping down himself. Sylvain and Dimitri watch with rapt attention as Felix unbuttons his jeans and kicks them aside. His briefs follow, before he tugs his shirt over his head. He wiggles his fingers under the compression panel of his binder and rolls it up his chest to make it easier to take off. After a day of wear, his skin is irritated and pink under his arms, nipples a bit sore as well. Both of his boys stare at him with hungry eyes, Sylvain starting to rock back and forth on Dimitri’s cock like he can’t help it. Felix allows him that as he grabs a tie and pulls his hair out of his face.

Dimitri’s eyes follow him as he crawls back up onto the bed. Felix grabs him by the jaw and Dimitri gasps. His pupils are blown wide, black pits of pleasure that Felix aches to fall into. He drags his thumb indulgently along the swell of his bottom lip, clenching around nothing when Dimitri’s tongue flicks hesitantly against the tip of it. “I’m going to let you suck my cock,” Felix says. He throws his leg over Dimitri’s chest as he does, putting his back to Sylvain as he grabs a handful of Dimitri’s hair. He shuffles forward, until Dimitri can smell his arousal. “What do you say?”

“Thank you, thank you,” Dimitri whispers reverently. Felix has the feeling that his appreciation isn’t just for this.

“You can use your toy now, Sylvain,” Felix says. Dimitri’s eyes flutter shut and a moan bursts out of him as Sylvain starts bouncing on his cock. He shakes him meanly, until his eyes open again. They shine with desire, sweet and untainted, as Felix spreads himself. Dimitri wants him, however much Felix is willing to give, and it makes him ache. He guides the fat jut of his clit between Dimtiri’s lips and his mouth closes around him with sweet suction. “Fuck, there’s a good boy,” Felix groans.

Dimitri shivers, tongue flicking against him as he lifts his hands hesitantly. Felix guides them to his hips and Dimitri grips tightly, warm and calloused and strong. He and Sylvain use Dimitri in tandem with rude, demanding rolls of their hips. Dimitri is diligent with them, letting Felix rut against his tongue while Sylvain uses his cock. 

“Felix, fuck,” Sylvain gasps, whining for him even as he rides someone else’s cock.

Felix groans and smiles, letting his head roll back as Dimitri’s tongue flicks under the hood of his clit. “Feels good, baby? He makes a good toy, doesn’t he?” Felix feels the tremble that runs through Dimitri’s entire body and gets to enjoy how he redoubles his efforts to make Felix cum. It works wonderfully. His first orgasm crests and breaks with his fingers knotted in Dimitri’s hair, head thrown back and thighs shuddering on either side of Dimitri’s face.

He lifts himself up onto his knees, catching himself on the headboard to give Dimitri a moment to breathe. He doesn’t seem to want it, keeping his hands tight on Felix’s hips as he tries to pull him back down over his face. Felix laughs and glances down at him, finding Dimitri’s eyes glassy and his mouth wet with Felix’s cum. “Still a whore I see,” Felix mumbles. Dimitri’s cheeks pinken and Felix lowers his hips to slot his dick back between his lips.

Dimitri sucks at him eagerly, eyes fluttering shut as the sweet edge of overstimulation makes his pleasure raw and overwhelming. Sylvain leans over him, damp breath hitting the back of Felix’s neck. “Getting tired, sweetheart?” Felix reaches back to lace his fingers into his hair.

Sylvain whines and kisses whatever bit of Felix he can reach. “Wanna cum…”

Felix grins to himself and tugs on Dimitri’s hair. His eyes come open even while his mouth continues its work. “Jerk Sylvain off, baby.” One of his hands disappears from Felix’s hip and the next moment, Sylvain’s moans get louder and sweeter. “Whenever you’re ready, sweetheart,” Felix answers Sylvain’s unasked question and his voice breaks off into silence a moment later. Dimitri’s hand works faster, milking Sylvain dry until he’s whimpering. “That’s enough,” Felix tells Dimitri gently.

He turns as Sylvain slumps off to the side of their bed, riding Dimitri’s tongue lazily. He’s still diligently hard, the head of his cock almost purple after being ridden within an inch of his life. Felix faces forward again and smooths his hands through Dimitri’s hair. “Finish me off and I’ll let you cum.” His voice breaks as Dimitri flicks his tongue against his cock. He’s a quick study in Felix’s weak spots and wants. It only takes him another minute or two to get Felix to the next crest of his orgasm.

His thighs clench around Dimitri’s head, gasping out some strangled version of his name as he cums on his face for the second time. The pleasure is white-hot and blinding, leaving him sticky with sweat and wet between his thighs as he eases off Dimitri. He looks doubly wrecked, mouth swollen and chin streaked with wetness. 

He’s patient and obedient, laying still as Felix recovers and then remembers his promise. “Such a good boy,” he says. “You did so well for us, Dimitri.” The shape of his name feels good in Felix’s mouth. He cups Dimitri’s cock, slick with pre-cum, and gives him a few strokes. “You want to cum?”

Dimitri nods, eyes squeezed shut as all his muscles start to tremble. Felix pets at his belly and tickles at his balls as Dimitri gasps and moans. “Are you going to cum?” Felix is teasing, really: Dimitri’s holding onto the edge by the skin of his teeth, gasping and sweating onto their sheets--but then, Dimitri shakes his head. “No?” Felix says, wonderingly.

Dimitri shakes his head again and fights for words against his own heaving, desperate breaths. “Not… not until you say, sir.” Felix blinks. He’d never said that Dimitri wasn’t allowed to, not since he’d gotten him off at least. That glowing inside of him kicks up again, making him grin with an almost unhinged delight.

He twists his fist around Dimitri’s cock, stroking him fast and tight. Felix expects him to give into the pleasure, but true to his word, he fights it. Felix drips with fresh arousal, but he doesn’t keep Dimitri waiting. “Go on,” he says. The next stroke has Dimitri’s cock leaking sluggishly across his knuckles and then jerking hard as the first stripe of cum lands across his stomach. Felix coos as he milks it out of him, until tears bead down his cheeks in glittery stripes. “There you are, good boy,” he murmurs, letting Dimitri soak up the praise until his trembling calms.

As soon as the trembling steadies, the crying starts up. Felix isn’t surprised or particularly worried about it. He glances over at Sylvain and finds him slightly vacant. Felix coaxes him over to lay with Dimitri, letting them get tangled up together as Dimitri cries himself out. After some gentle pets, Felix steps into their bathroom to get a damp washcloth. He wipes himself down and then goes back into the bedroom to clean both Sylvain and Dimitri up. “C’mon,” he murmurs, wiping the lube from between Sylvain’s legs and the cum off both of their bellies.

Felix tugs the dirty blanket beneath them off the bed and pulls the soft sheets up over both of them. He starts a load of laundry and grabs three bottles of water out of the fridge. Once he’s back in the bedroom, Dimitri has stopped crying. Felix turns off the overhead light and shuts the curtains, plunging them into full darkness. He turns on one of the bedside lamps as he coaxes his boys into sitting up and drinking some water. Dimitri is clearly exhausted and probably won’t feel much better until the morning. Sylvain is more clear-eyed at least, vying for a kiss until Felix gives him a quick peck.

He settles on the other side of Dimitri, swiping the last of the tears off his cheeks as he surveys him. He wants to ask him to stay the night. He wants to talk, he wants to figure everything out--but the words get stuck in his throat. Once they’ve all finished their water bottles, Sylvain yawns and turns off the light. He snuggles down into their pillows, apparently unbothered by the question of Dimitri spending the night with them.

After a moment of nauseating apprehension, Dimitri settles down between them. Felix follows, throwing an arm over Dimitri’s belly to keep him in place and lacing his fingers together with Sylvain’s. Exhaustion drags over him, his body aching and his racing mind finally calmed by Dimitri’s presence. He’s sure that Sylvain feels the same way.

“I said--”

Felix snaps awake at the sound of Dimitri’s voice. Sylvain’s fingers tighten around his and Felix lifts himself up on his elbow. His eyes have adjusted to the dark now, and he can just barely make out the shape of Dimitri’s face against the blond fan of his hair. 

Dimitri clears his throat. “When you told me that you wanted more, I said… no.” Dimitri’s voice trembles and breaks, brimming with a vulnerability that leaves Felix speechless. “I told you no, not because I don’t want you. I think I want you both more than anything else I’ve ever known, but,” he takes a long breath. “If you knew me, you wouldn’t--you couldn’t keep wanting me like that.”

The weight of sorrowful certainty in his voice fills the room, threatening to crush all three of them. Felix blinks in the darkness, trying to absorb his words. His instinct is to push back on him. Of course they know him. They know what he likes and what he doesn’t, how he communicates, the rhythms of his body and his pleasure. They don’t know his friends, his past, or even his job. But he doesn’t know those things about them, either.

Felix reaches past that frustration and into the sticky, vulnerable center that he tries so hard to hide. “You don’t know us, either.”

“Felix--”

“We don’t know your past. You don’t know ours. Did you know that I’ve known Sylvain since I was six?” He waits until Dimitri shakes his head. “Well, I don’t know the names of any of your childhood friends. Hell, I only know your last name because of PayPal invoices,” Felix says. Dimitri snorts. Felix digs his heels in against the voice trying to tell him to be quiet. “It’s okay to be scared. I’m scared, too. But we can still try, can’t we?” The hope in his voice makes him sick, and he clings to Sylvain’s hand through the uncertainty. “I really want to,” he finally whispers.

“We want to know you,” Sylvain says. In the dark, Felix can just barely see him pressing his face against Dimitri’s throat. “I don’t expect you to be perfect… And if you expect that from us, you’ll be sorely mistaken.” Felix smacks him, but Dimitri laughs. “C’mon, what’s the worst that could happen?” Felix has been trying to answer that question with Annette for the last ten years of his life. And the worst is almost never what actually happens.

“Okay,” Dimitri breathes. It’s so soft that Felix almost can’t believe it.

“Okay?” Sylvain repeats.

Dimitri nods in the dark. “Let’s try.”

Felix and Sylvain headbutt each other as they both try to kiss him.

~

Dimitri asks them out on a date in the morning. He’s wearing a pair of Sylvain’s sweatpants that are too short on him and bunch awkwardly around his thighs. His hair is tangled, but his eyes are soft and sweet. Felix learns that he takes his coffee similarly to Sylvain, and how much better he sleeps when curled up against him. “I know we’re kind of… doing this all backwards, but I would like to take you both out for a real date.”

Felix almost spits out his coffee and Sylvain’s cheeks go bright red. “Oh, wow, really? You know that you don’t have to, right?” Sylvain says, still blushing like a schoolgirl. “If you’re trying to impress us, you really don’t need to--”

Dimitri waves him off. “I want to. It feels right, after everything you’ve done for me.”

Felix snorts. “You say that like you haven’t been paying our rent for months,” he mumbles. It only takes a second for the jolly atmosphere to fade out of their morning. Felix kicks himself. “Uh, I mean…” There’s really no excuse or lie to be made so he just shrugs awkwardly and stares down into his coffee.

“Have you… You haven’t been seeing other clients?” Dimitri sounds confused more than anything.

Sylvain answers after Felix just keeps staring at his hands. “Well, no. You filled our schedule nicely, and all of our expenses were paid, so.” After another beat of silence, Sylvain continues. “Obviously, you won’t be paying anymore, so Felix and I will probably start making videos again. I hope you don’t… hang on.” A laugh bursts out of Sylvain and Felix glances up.

Dimitri’s face has gone red. Without a shirt on, he can see where the flush is starting to suffuse down over his pecs. He’s doing a terrible job of concealing his feelings and Felix can’t help but chuckle a bit himself. “You like the idea of being our sugar daddy!” When Dimitri doesn’t immediately deny it, another bout of laughter rocks through Sylvain.

A little giggle spills out of Dimitri too and he rubs a hand over his red face. “That isn’t a problem, is it? I take no issue with you continuing your work but… I do like the idea of taking care of you.” Felix is so fond of him it almost hurts.

“No problem at all,” he says, easily settling that. “And I’d love for you to wine and dine us.”

Dimitri fixes his gaze on him, bright and knowing. Felix flushes under the attention, heart beating a little faster as Dimitri’s face splits into a real grin. “Perfect. It’s a date, then.”

~

Dimitri is surprisingly good at keeping secrets. Felix learns this over the next three days as he plans their first date and never reveals any specific details. He and Sylvain bug him as much as they can, sharing phone calls and spending long hours texting just to get a hint of what they might be doing. It never works. On the morning of their planned date, Dimitri finally tells them that they should wear something formal but comfortable. After they both proceed to have a breakdown while attempting to determine what that means, Dimitri sends them a picture of what he’ll be wearing.

Sylvain and Felix spend approximately ten minutes drooling over the photo together. He’s wearing a pair of black tapered slacks with brown shoes that match his leather belt. Along with a chunky, cream colored sweater. He took the picture in a dirty mirror, using his phone to hide his face. Felix wants to devour him. “Why does he look so good in everything?” Sylvain laments as he throws himself back onto the bed dramatically.

“Good question,” Felix mumbles, zooming in on the necklace that Dimitri’s wearing. “What the hell am I gonna wear?”

“You’ll look hot no matter what. But me? Oh God,” Sylvain moans dramatically. They spend the rest of the day trying on clothing. Sylvain finds something effortlessly, as expected, as Felix finally unwraps some of Annette’s designer gifts for him.

Felix decides on slacks as well and almost puts on the shiny pumps he’d gotten for one of their scenes, but the thought of walking in those for any length of time would be considered torture. He settles on a pair of heavy leather boots. “Do you think that we’ll end up taking a walk?” They’re still an hour out from when Dimitri promised to pick them up. Sylvain is half-dressed and laying on their bed, playing some stupid game on his phone while Felix gets ready.

He’s dressed from his hips down, standing in front of the mirror as he decides whether or not to wear his binder. “Should I ask?”

Felix purses his lips and lifts his arms above his head. His ribs twinge as he stretches and he has his answer. “No, I’ll be uncomfortable all night if I wear it.” He tosses his binder to the side and grabs a bra instead. He pulls on a crimson blouse with cap sleeves and a low neck. “Oh…” He adjusts himself and tucks the blouse into his high rise slacks.

“Holy shit.”

Felix grins at himself in the mirror. The cut of the slacks makes his hips and waist look straighter, while the blouse hangs over his chest in a flattering androgynous way. Paired with the boots, he’s tall and imposing, masculine even without the grip of his binder. Sylvain joins him in the mirror, his black button down hanging open. His hands curve over Felix’s hips as his eyes rake over him. “You’re so fucking hot.” Felix grins and twists to kiss him.

A while of kissing and getting Sylvain’s shirt rebuttoned later, their phones buzz as Dimitri lets them know he’s here. After a few last minute adjustments, they grab their keys and head downstairs. Nervousness thrums between both of them and they hold onto each other as they leave the lobby.

They start toward the car idling at the curb and the drivers side door pops open. Dimitri comes around the front of the car, grinning at the pair of them before opening the passenger side door. “Hello,” he says, gesturing gentlemanly to the front seat. He and Sylvain share a quick look, before Felix is pushed toward the door. He smacks Sylvain and smiles at Dimitri before sliding in. Dimitri shuts it and then opens the back for Sylvain.

He slides back around to the front, pink cheeked and excited as they pull away from the curb. “Buckle up.” 

Felix rolls his eyes, but does as he’s told. “Are you still keeping it a secret?” Felix scoffs as they pull away from the curb and they still don’t know where they’re going.

“Yup,” Dimitri says, slotting into traffic and heading for the center of the city. Sylvain picks the music for them and it fills the spaces between their small talk as Dimitri drives them on toward their date. Felix relaxes and lets Dimitri take the lead.

A half an hour later, they pull up in front of a massive, imposing building lit with pink and wearing some acronym that Felix doesn’t recognize. Dimitri parks near the front and reaches into the center console for his wallet. From within, he pulls out three tickets. “There’s an exhibition opening tonight. It’s a classical exhibit--I figured that modern art wouldn’t really be your thing.”

Felix takes his ticket and reads the title of the exhibit.  _ Flesh and Blood: Homosexual Italian Renaissance.  _ His eyebrows jump and Sylvain laughs from the backseat. “This sounds  _ right _ up our alley.”

Dimitri grins and they set off toward the museum. On second glance, Felix realizes that a crowd of well-dressed socialites have gathered on the big, stone steps. The line starts moving the second they step into it. Soon enough, they’re in the massive open museum, surrounded by equally massive classical portraiture.

They wander around, trying to whisper as they observe more and more obscene displays of male love. Sylvain only makes it about half way through the exhibit before bursting out laughing. An awkward quiet falls around them and Felix elbows him hard in the ribs. Only for Dimitri to angle himself in line with the agonized man in the painting and poorly attempt to mimic his expression. Felix tries to mask his laugh with a cough, but when Sylvain starts up again, he realizes that it’s a lost cause. When they move onto the next painting, they spend less than thirty seconds murmuring about how gorgeous it is before Sylvain steps up to make a stupid face.

It’s fun. It’s easy to laugh and fall into the two of them, ignoring the rest of the patrons. After an hour of goofing off, Dimitri glances at his phone. “Alright, we have a reservation in twenty minutes.”

Felix blinks owlishly at him. “Dinner, too?”

“Yeah.” Dimitri says it with a smile, and Felix feels so wanted it makes him feel lightheaded. “Come on.” 

Sylvain grabs Felix’s hand and tugs him along in Dimitri’s wake.

~

Another short drive later and they pull up outside an equally bougie building, this time with a flickering script sign in a language Felix doesn’t recognize. “Looks expensive,” Sylvain chirps as they step out of the car.

Dimitri grins and touches his elbow. “I picked out the best for you.” His eyes shoot to Felix and the depth of his adoration washes over him. 

Sylvain holds open the door for Felix and Dimitri to enter. The front of the restaurant is packed with people, either vying for a spot at the bar or trying to find out when the next table for six would be available. Felix cringes in sympathy for the exhausted looking host. “Let me go and confirm our reservation,” Dimitri murmurs, leaning in close to be heard over the din.

Dimitri slips through the crowd, never once using his size to try and get past people. When the host catches sight of him, another line of annoyance appears between his eyebrows before smoothing out into a proper hospitality smile. Felix is  _ so _ glad he doesn’t work in places like this anymore. “Hello, I have a reservation. My name is Dimitri.” 

The host scrolls down through their reservations. “Uh, I’m sorry, sir, we won’t be able to seat you--”

Dimitri waves away the anxious babbling. “We’re a bit early, and you are obviously very busy. Do not worry yourself.”

Felix blinks. “I’ve never seen someone with money… be so nice,” Sylvain mumbles. Felix nods dumbly as Dimitri tells the host that they’ll be standing outside. He turns back toward his dates and his brows furrow.

He makes his way back through the crowd and pushes open the door so they can step outside. It’s chilly, but at least not loud and crowded. “Is everything alright? You both seem strange.”

Felix snorts. “I’m pretty sure that you’re the only person who’s going to be nice to that host all night.”

Dimitri shrugs and leans against the wall next to him. “I remember what it was like to work those sorts of jobs. I make a point to not be another rude, well-off city-goer.”

“Huh. I guess we assumed you were a trust fund baby.” For the second time that night, Felix elbows his boyfriend hard, but Dimitri just laughs.

“Don’t worry, I take no offense.” He’d left his hair loose tonight; he plays with it, now. “My parents had money, but they never liked to give me much of it. As soon as I could work, I did.” He pauses and rolls a few words around in his mouth, but his mouth shuts. 

“What’s it mean anyway?” Felix asks. “The name.”

Dimitri blinks and glances up at the flickering sign above them. “Oh, it’s called black bird. In Italian.”

Sylvain groans. “Don’t tell me that it's gonna be one of those places where I can’t even read the menu.

The door opens before Dimitri can respond. “Sir? Your table is ready.”

“Thank you so much!” He gestures for Sylvain and Felix to walk ahead of him. The perfect gentleman.

Past the front, the restaurant is much more demure. Older couples are seated at each table, drinking red wine and picking at weird dishes that Felix couldn’t hope to name. They’re led through the center of the main dining room to a table close to the wall. It isn’t private, but Felix still feels more at ease than being in the center of the dining room. Dimitri sits with his back to the corner and thanks the host again as he takes his menu. Felix gets the feeling that Dimitri doesn’t understand even half of his own charm.

Felix takes one look at the menu and closes it. “You already know what you want?” Sylvain sputters.

“Will you order for me, Dimitri?”

His eyes lift to Felix’s and he flushes sweetly. “Yes, of course. Would you like some wine?” He and Sylvain decide on a red that’s probably exorbitantly expensive, since Felix doesn’t know the first thing about wine and will drink whatever is put in front of him. He answers a few of Dimitri’s food questions and smiles to himself at how determined Dimitri is to get him something he likes. Once their orders have been taken and Sylvain and Felix are sipping on their wine, a pensive quiet takes them.

Felix half expects that they’ll have to play some awkward first date twenty questions to get Dimitri to open up. Instead, he surprises them. “I was going to say earlier,” Dimitri starts. He’s picking at the edge of his napkin, speaking with nervous care. “I worked for every penny that I spent while in high school. College wasn’t an option for me. It was between working for my father, or getting kicked out. So, I picked the third option and joined the military.”

Both Felix and Sylvain’s mouths drop open. It was the last thing that Felix expected to hear about Dimitri’s past. “Obviously, I’m no longer on active deployment. My father passed away and I took up his company.” Dimitri’s face falls for a moment, before he clears his throat. “This is all to say, that every bit of money I spend, is worked for.”

“What did you do? In the military, I mean,” Sylvain asks.

Dimitri purses his lips and for a moment, Felix thinks that he won’t tell them. “I was in active combat for almost two years. A part of the Army.”

“And what do you do now?” Sylvain asks. He’s always been the most natural at this, guiding conversations in and out of uncomfortable topics. Most of the time, Felix just feels like he’s along for the ride.

He still listens closely. “My father’s company dealt with marketing. I revitalized it by centering it around social media and hiring some of my closest friends.” Dimitri’s more at ease talking about the present moment and he details the workings of his company until their food arrives. Felix doesn’t even bother to look at what he’s eating until he’s digging into it. Dimitri ordered perfectly for him. “Sorry, I’ve been speaking so much about myself! Please, I want to know about you.”

With Felix’s mouth full, Sylvain speaks for them both. “We grew up together. Our families were very close and we saw each other through everything.”

Felix adds, “My brother died when I was very young. And by the time I was eighteen, my dad was gone as well. Sylvain was all that I had then.” He scoops up more of what vaguely resembles mashed potatoes. “So, we made it work.”

“I’m deeply sorry for your loss,” Dimitri says. His voice holds a deep, genuine empathy, one that can only be known by others of similar grief.

“It was a long time ago,” Felix says and takes another drink of his wine. “Tell us about your friends.”

Dimitri really opens up then, telling stories of a man named Claude and all the trouble he manages to get into. One of his best workers is a woman named Marianne, who sounds like someone Felix would like. In turn, Felix talks about Annette and her business. When Dimitri asks him about their hobbies, Sylvain admits to loving horses, much to Dimitri’s dismay. “They’re terrifying,” he says.

Sylvain laughs. “Well, I’ll have to take you riding sometime.”

They eat and drink their fill, until Sylvain is laughing too loud and Felix feels close to splitting the seam of his pants. Dimitri covers their bill without a blink and ushers them out to the car. Once they’re both securely buckled in, he drives them back home. Instead of dropping them off, he parks and walks them up.

“That was a good date,” Sylvain says. Dimitri flushes a bit and dips his head. “Aren’t you gonna kiss me good night?” Felix unlocks the door while he flirts, but turns in time to see their mouths meet. It’s nothing like the filthy things they share in actual privacy. It’s sweet and gentle--a good kiss for a first date. “Good night handsome,” Sylvain murmurs and steps into their apartment.

Dimitri gives him a shy little look. “Oh, c’mon,” Felix scoffs. He lifts up onto his toes and wraps his arms around the back of Dimitri’s neck. He kisses him, hard and demanding and nothing like a chaste, first date kiss. Dimitri’s hands land on his hips and Felix shivers. Their chests press together and Felix’s fingers knot in his hair, leaving snarls for Dimitri to remember him by. In the end, it’s obvious that he and Dimitri won’t ever do chaste. He drops back onto flat feet and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “Drive safe,” he says, and closes the door in Dimitri’s face.

Away from Dimitri’s eyes, Felix melts. His face flushes with excitement, a stupid giggle spilling from his lips as he slides a hand through his hair. Sylvain gathers him up in his arms and carries him to the bedroom. “He’s pretty great, isn’t he?” Sylvain lays him out on the mattress and starts unlacing his boots.

Felix grins stupidly at the ceiling. “Yeah, he is.”

~

They keep up the dates. Dimitri tries to plan all of them, until Sylvain and Felix finally manage to orchestrate a surprise visit to the botanical gardens. Not all of their dates are as extravagant as those ones. The first time they go to Dimitri’s apartment, he makes them dinner and they share a bottle of wine, getting nice and tipsy while they eat and watch the sunset. More often than not, Dimitri comes over to their apartment and they sprawl out in the living room, binging a show in one sitting or trading off picking movies.

Without a conscious decision, sex falls off their minds. After doing everything backwards, it seems like the most logical step. Getting comfortable in this new relationship will take some time, and then they can keep going as they were before. That doesn’t stop most of their dates from ending in messy makeout sessions and missing clothing.

More than anything, they spend their time enjoying each other, and it feels right. A few weeks pass and they end up having lunch with Annette and Mercedes. They take to Dimitri immediately, giving him a glowing seal of approval. Dimitri shows them where he works and they meet all of his friends-turned-employees. They end up going on a group date with Marianne and her girlfriend Hilda. And Sylvain does manage to convince Dimitri to go riding with him.

It’s wonderful: a little slice of paradise.

On a Friday afternoon, Felix overhears Sylvain asking Dimitri to spend the night. They’d talked about it a little bit, how they wanted to have Dimitri over and really  _ have _ him again. “Okay, we’ll see you then,” Sylvain says.

Felix comes into their bedroom in time to see Sylvain hang up and scream into one of their pillows. “I take that to mean he’s coming over?” Felix climbs into bed and sprawls out over top of him.

Sylvain pulls his face out of the pillow with a smile. “Yup.”

“Well, we better choose something to order then.”

~

Dimitri shows up a little before dinner time with a duffel bag knocking against his knee. Felix lets him in while Sylvain unloads their big boxes of takeout. “Good to see you,” Felix says as Dimitri slips out of his shoes and drops his bag.

“Yeah.” Dimitri tries to smile, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. Worry pierces through Felix’s chest, but he doesn’t push. “Smells good.” He moves past Felix and toward all the food laid out on their coffee table.

“Dimitri!” Sylvain jumps up from the couch. He pulls Dimitri into a hug and his arms go around Sylvain easily. Felix waves away his worries and sits down on the couch. Dimitri sits between them, tense, until Sylvain chooses their first movie and they start eating.

They enjoy their food and the campy horror movie that Sylvain picked out, while Felix focuses on not being hypervigilant. He tries to ignore how Dimitri’s barely eating anything, or how each time Sylvain falls against him, he stiffens on instinct. It gets harder when he takes quick glances at him, always finding his eyes vacant or not even pointed at the TV. Once Sylvain’s movie is over, it’s Dimitri’s turn to pick. “Oh, uh…” He looks down at the remote like it’s some sort of unknown animal. “You choose.” He passes it over to Felix while barely even sparing him a glance.

Sylvain turns to him with a furrowed brow, eyes skating across Dimitri’s calm face. “Are you alright?” Sylvain asks. He reaches out and lays his fingers over the crook of Dimitri’s elbow, a familiar touch between the three of them. This time, it’s obvious how Dimitri’s fist clenches to the point of trembling on top of his thigh.

Somewhere in his head, Felix does feel fear. He’d have more than a few wires crossed if a show of strength from someone who looks more like a viking than a businessman didn’t scare him. The feeling is muted, behind layers of worry and trust and desire. 

“I’m fine,” Dimitri says. His voice is tight and tough around the edges.

“I’ll pick the movie,” Felix says. His gaze shoots to Sylvain quickly and his hand falls away from Dimitri. He relaxes and Felix scoots to the side to give him a more comfortable space between them. He flicks through their choices until he finds an animated movie that he remembers loving with Sylvain when they were kids. With their food finished now, they curl up on the couch together, scoffing at the ridiculousness of a movie they once loved.

They’re almost half way through it when Dimitri’s fingers drag gently over Felix’s knee. “Thank you,” he murmurs.

Felix’s instinct is to wrap himself around him, to mold them together until it’s impossible to be peeled apart. To sink himself into those cracks that make Dimitri look so glassy-eyed, to heal the scars that he will always carry with him. Instead, he nods and smiles. They enjoy that movie before Felix starts yawning, almost nodding off as Sylvain picks another stupid horror movie.

“You know,” Felix starts and then breaks off when he yawns again. “When I was a kid, I cried about everything.” Sylvain snorts, while Dimitri hums. “When I got tired, when Sylvain beat me at a game, when my brother went to school…” He trails off and rubs his eyes.

“What was your brother’s name?” Dimitri asks.

“Glenn.” He hasn’t said his name out loud in a long time. The ache between his ribs still surprises him. He brushes his fingers through his tangled hair and looks away from the deep, knowing look that Dimitri gives him. “Anyway, I’m tired. Let’s go to bed.”

Sylvain shoots him a puzzled look, but turns off the TV and stands all the same. From the moment that Dimitri came into their apartment, Felix knew that they wouldn’t be fucking tonight. So, he took the decision away. Besides, he is actually tired. They brush their teeth crowded into the bathroom and then climb into bed together. Of course, Dimitri brought a matching pajama set, while Felix climbs into bed naked and Sylvain only wears his briefs. It’s almost darling how he turns his back to them and gets dressed in his sleepwear.

Felix ends up with both Sylvain and Dimitri curled around him, their warmth almost stifling. They talk into the darkness until Felix can’t keep his eyes open and his two boys are quiet around him. He falls asleep easily.

And wakes with a jolt. It takes him a moment to realize what woke him. The dark haze of a nightmare doesn’t cloud his mind and he doesn’t feel like he needs to use the bathroom. Sylvain is still curled around him, the rhythm of his exhalations tickling the back of Felix’s neck. His eyes shift to Dimitri in the dark, and he realizes what woke him.

Dimitri’s having a nightmare. A terrible one, at that. He’s jerking and twitching on the mattress, neck pulled taut. His fingers are knotted in the sheets and the longer Felix watches, the more agony Dimitri seems to be in. Worry knots around his heart and he slowly sits up, not yet ready to wake Sylvain. It doesn’t feel right to just keep watching, but surely waking Dimitri up wouldn’t be good either. Felix rubs the sleep out of his eyes and cringes as Dimitri starts mumbling unfamiliar names.

He’s about to wake Sylvain up, when one sharp thrash of Dimitri’s body has him jerking upright as well. Felix slides a hand across his mouth before he can curse in annoyance. Sylvain seems to go through the same realization that Felix had moments ago. Annoyance melts into confusion and then into worry. Felix drops his hand from Sylvain’s mouth and laces their fingers together instead. “I don’t know…” Sylvain shakes his head, confirming that both of them are starkly out of their depth.

Dimitri keens again in his sleep, a terrible agonized noise, before he suddenly comes awake. In that moment, it doesn’t occur to Felix to be afraid. Earlier, he had recognized Dimitri’s strength, his leashed pain and agony, but now, he’s only worried. With a low groan he fights the duvet off of himself and starts tugging uselessly at his clothes, before suddenly realizing he isn’t alone in his bed. Sylvain moves and turns on one of their lamps, giving a perfect illumination to the caged, animal fear that flashes in Dimitri’s eyes.

“I…” Dimitri’s voice breaks and Felix realizes he’s still trembling, unable to relax the tight coil of his entire body. “I’m sorry.”

“What? There’s nothing to apologize for.” Felix leans forward, intending to reach for Dimitri, only to stop just short of it.

Dimitri turns his face and Felix realizes that he isn’t going to hear a single thing from either of them. “I didn’t think… I never wanted,” he breaks off with a frustrated noise and puts his head in his hands. Felix grips Sylvain’s hand and waits. “I knew this would happen. I thought that if I wished it wouldn’t I could avoid it.”

When he doesn’t go on, Sylvain leans in a bit closer to him. “Do you mean the nightmares?”

Dimitri laughs. It’s a hollow thing. “No. I mean you knowing who I really am.”

Felix’s brow furrows. One of Dimitri’s legs is hanging over the edge of the bed, body curled tightly like he’s ready to run at any minute. “Can you tell us more?” Felix closes the distance between his fingers and Dimitri’s, drawing that startling gaze back to him. “If we lay back down and turn off the light. We can just… listen.” It’ll be a hard promise to keep, but it’s what Dimitri needs.

That deep, emotionless stare pins him for a while longer, until he gives a jerky nod. “Okay.” Felix and Sylvain move first, plunging the room back into darkness and then curling up together. Sylvain pulls them to the very edge of the mattress, giving Dimitri the space he needs as he lays back down.

“We’re listening, Dimitri,” Sylvain says, a soft promise that Felix intends to keep.

“I was in my second nine-month deployment when it happened. I returned to an active combat zone with a squad of men that had become my brothers.” He takes a long breath. “While I was sleeping, fighting broke out. All of my closest friends were gunned down in front of me. And I lost it,” Dimitri says. Before, his voice was rough with emotion. Now, he recounts these memories with a sickening sort of stoicism. “Singlehandedly, I murdered the men who took my friends from me. They couldn’t have been more than twenty, trying to prove themselves… Regardless, I killed them.”

It would’ve been enough to traumatize anyone, but Dimitri continues on. “I discarded my weapon, ignored the bodies of my men and went to the small village we were camped outside of.” Sylvain’s arms tighten around him and Felix laces their fingers together. “I--I killed them all. Every single human being in that town.” Dimitri puts his head in his hands. “If I try to recall it now, I fail to. The nightmares are always of what I did to those people. Those people who… had nothing to do with the war that  _ we _ started.”

Dimitri pauses for a long moment. “I was wounded badly. I was discharged… it should’ve been on the grounds of my partial blindness and weakened knees. But I was honorably discharged.” He spits the words with vitriol, an anger that Felix didn’t think he was capable of. “I ripped women and children apart with my bare hands and I was given  _ honor _ for it?” His burning eyes turn to them in that moment, his face curled with rage, until he blinks and remembers where he is.

Felix grasps for something to say. His mind is frustratingly empty. Behind him, Sylvain shifts and sits up. He climbs over Felix and moves slowly toward Dimitri. He moves carefully, but without hesitation or fear. “Can I?” He holds his arms out. Dimitri crashes into him instead of responding. They fall back onto the mattress, Dimitri’s face in Sylvain’s bare chest. “Thank you for telling us,” Sylvain says. He combs his fingers through Dimitri’s hair and after a moment, Felix’s fingers join his. Dimitri makes a vague sound of affirmation, and for a while, that’s it. They pet Dimitri gently, pouring all the comfort they can manage into him.

Sylvain is the first to speak. “You’ve never had a nightmare with us before. Are they just random?”

“Usually, the… the scenes help. I can get out of my head and… well, you know.” He sounds adorably flustered and Felix smiles at the back of his head. “They help with everything, really.”

Sylvain makes another considering noise. “Once you told us you were a veteran, I knew it was likely you had experienced something like this. And we’ve both seen the scars. I don’t think differently of you.” Felix traces over a few that he can reach on Dimitri’s back. “Is that what you worried about?”

Dimitri shrugs. “I guess so.” He twists his face out of Sylvain’s face and looks up to Felix. “It’s more than just the nightmares. If you aren’t bothered by the things I’ve done, then it’ll be a bad nightmare, or a mood swing, or--”

“It won’t.” The words break out of Felix. Dimitri’s teeth click as he closes his mouth. “You might not believe me and you might be scared and that’s okay. I don’t expect you to believe me right now. But I have no intention of using your experiences against you.” Dimitri’s eyes widen as he rambles. Felix can’t figure out how to close his mouth. “I don’t care--I mean, of course I care, but it doesn’t matter to me. You matter to me. Everything else, whatever, we’ll figure it out.”

Dimitri stares at him, but Felix can’t quite decipher the tone of his gaze. Sylvain leans down and kisses the top of his head. “I’ll let you in on a little secret.” Dimitri’s eyes pivot up to him. “When Felix sets his sights on something, he isn’t likely to let it go. Neither am I,” he murmurs. He has a teasing glint in his eyes, but his words are true enough. Felix isn’t keen on the idea of Dimitri ripping himself away from them.

“Okay…” Dimitri says. He isn’t entirely convinced of their situation, that seems clear enough now. But Felix takes it as a small victory and leans in to kiss him gently. When he pulls away, Dimitri repeats himself. “Okay.” It sounds slightly more sure.

Felix smiles at him and immediately yawns. They rearrange themselves on the bed, until Dimitri is tangled up between them. “I might wake you up again,” he warns miserably.

He and Sylvain both squeeze him tight. “Better to not be alone after nightmares,” Sylvain mumbles and Felix nods. Slowly, Dimitri relaxes within their arms. Felix smiles to himself. They’ll figure it out. They always do.

**Author's Note:**

> hi :) thanks for reading. this series has been so much fun to write, and this one... was probably the most nerve wracking for me to write, considering it's been very porny up until this point.
> 
> i still have two more plot related parts loosely planned, plus a lot more porny fun to have with these boys.


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